Quote 929
And it is a mercy to have so near a friend to be a helper to your soul; to join with you in prayer and other holy exercises; to watch over you and tell you of your sins and dangers, and to stir up in you the grace of God, and remember to you of the life to come, and cheerfully accompany you in the ways of holiness.
Richard Baxter
Richard Baxter,A Christian Directoiy: or, Sum ofPractical7heology, and Cases of Conscience, 11.1 (7he Practical Works of the Rev. Richard Baxter [London: James Duncan, 1830], IV, 30).30K
Other Quotes from the Author & Topic
I take occasion to make the general remark that the great thing I always desired to find was a woman who was a real Christian, who was a real lady, and who was not a fool.AutoBiography (73)
In 1950 the average age at marriage was twenty for women and twenty-two for men; by 2019 those numbers rose to twenty-eight for women and thirty for men.Remarriage in Early Christianity, Eerdmans, 7
Marriage is called a yoke, too heavy for one alone to bear; therefore, each had a mutual help, a wife. In the participation of good, compassion of evil, in health the best delight, in sickness the best comfort; the sole companion to whom we may communicate our joys and into whose bosom we unload our sorrows. Thus are our griefs lessened, our joys enlarged, our hearts solaced.
Headship is the divine calling of a husband to take
primary responsibility for Christlike servant-leadership, protection, and provision in the home.
Submission is the divine calling of a wife to honor
and affirm her husband's leadership, and help carry it
through according to her gifts.
Whenever you have several ways before you for the laying out of your money or your time, let the question be seriously put to your heart: Which of these ways shall I wish at death and judgment that I had expended it? And let that be chosen as the way.
A slothful spirit is an impediment to a heavenly life, and I verily think there is nothing hinders it more than this in men of a good understanding. If it were only the exercise of the body, the moving of the lips, the bending of the knee, men would as commonly step to heaven as they go to visit a friend. But to separate our thoughts and affections from the world, to draw forth all our graces and increase each in its proper object, and to hold them to it till the work prospers in our hands—this, this is the difficulty.
With this nature or corrupt inclination, we are all now born into the world, for "who can bring a clean thing out of an unclean?" As a lion hath a fierce and cruel nature before it doth devour, and as an adder hath a venomous nature before she stings, so in our very infancy we have those sinful natures and inclinations before we think or speak or do amiss. And hence springs all the sin of our lives.
It is a palpable error in those ministers who make such a disproportion between their preaching and their living that they will study hard to preach accurately and study little or not at all to live accurately. They are loath to misplace a word in their sermons, but they make nothing of misplacing their affections, words, or actions in the course of their lives.
He bears you the greatest malice who are engaged to do him the greatest mischief. He has found, by experience, that to "smite the shepherd" is the most effectual means to "scatter the flock." You therefore shall have his most subtle insinuations, incessant solicitations, and violent assaults. Reformed Pastor
I know not how it is with other persons, but the most reverent preacher who speaks as if he saw the face of God does more affect my heart, though with common words, than an irreverent man with the most accurate preparations, though he bawl it out with ever so much seeming earnestness. If reverence be not equal to fervency, it has but little effect. Of all preaching in the world, I hate that most which tends to make the hearers laugh or to affect their minds with such levity as stage plays do instead of affecting them with a holy reverence of the name of God.
Hear, if possible, that minister that first feels what he speaks and so speaks what he feels, as tends most to make you feel.
Conceive of this duty of praising God according to its superlative excellencies as being the highest service that the tongue of men or angels can perform. To bless or praise or magnify God is not to make Him greater or better or happier than He is, but to declare and extol His greatness, goodness, and felicity. Practical Works
Use sin, as it will use you. Spare it not, for it will not spare you. It is your murderer and the murderer of the world; use it therefore as a murderer should be used. Kill it before it kills you, and then though it kill your bodies, it shall not be able to kill your souls. And though it bring you to the grave, as it did your head, it shall not be able to keep you there.
Engage thyself in the cheerful, constant use of the means and helps appointed by God for thy confirmation and salvation. He can never expect to attain the end that will not be persuaded to use the means. Of yourselves you can do nothing. God giveth His help by the means which He hath appointed and fitted to your help.
A wife takes sanctuary not only in her husband's house but in his heart. The tree of love should grow up in the family as the tree of life grew up in the garden. They that choose their love should love their choice. They that marry where they affect not will affect where they marry not. Two joined together without love are but two tied together to make one another miserable.
Marry neither only or chiefly for beauty, by the eye; nor for honor, by the ear; nor for money or wealth, by the hand; but find out a meet helper, a suitable yoke fellow, one whom you are sure you shall love because you do love her, and that too for her virtues and qualifications, so decently lodged, that you cannot but be pleased to dwell with them. To conclude this particular about the choice of a wife and conversation with a wife, let me mind you what wisdom itself advises—namely, to marry in the Lord.
As for the qualifications of a husband or wife, I would advise all to look at true religion in the first place, that those that marry may be said to marry in the Lord. Next to religion, I should commend a suitable disposition and a conformity in manners, that man and wife may delight in the society and converse one of another. And as I would not have a man or woman marry merely or chiefly by their eyes or fancies, so neither would I advise a marriage betwixt those that have an averseness or antipathy at first sight each to other.
It is not evil to marry but good to be wary. Puritan Golden Treasury
He that is free from a wife may frame his choice to his mind, but he that hath chosen must frame his mind to his choice. Before, he might conform his actions to his affections; now he must endeavor to frame his affection according to his action.
Love is the commander of the soul, and therefore God knows that if He has our hearts, He has all, for all the rest are at His command; for it is, as it were, the nature of the will, which is the commanding faculty, and its object is the ultimate end which is the commanding object. Love sets the mind on thinking, the tongue on speaking, the hands on working, the feet on going, and every faculty obeys its command.
Remember that as it is Christ's work to teach, it is yours to hear and read and study and pray and practice what you hear. Do your part, then, if you expect the benefit. You come not to the school of Christ to be idle. Knowledge drops not into the sleepy dreamer's mouth. Dig for it, as for silver, and search for it in the Scriptures as for a hidden treasure.
How often have I heard a common drunkard, with tears, cry out against himself for his sin and yet go on in it? And how many gracious persons have I known whose judgments and wills have been groundedly resolved for God and holiness, and their lives have been holy, fruitful, and obedient, and yet could not shed a tear for sin nor feel any great sorrows or joys? If you judge of a man by his earnestness in some good moods and not by the constant tenor of his life, you will think many a hypocrite to be better than most saints.
Heaven is a state of perfect holiness and of a continual love and praise to God, and the wicked have no heart to this. The imperfect love and praise and holiness which are here to be attained they have no mind of, much less of that which is so much greater. The joys of heaven are of so pure and spiritual a nature that the heart of the wicked cannot desire them.
Friendship must be cemented by piety. A wicked man can be no true friend.
How often have I found that human friendship is a sweet addition to our woe, a beloved calamity, an affliction which nature will not be without! Not because nature loves evil nor is wholly deceived in its choice, for there is good in friendship and delight in holy love, but because the good which is here accompanied with so much evil is the beginning of a more high and durable friendship and points us to the blessed society and converse which we shall have with Christ in the heavenly Jerusalem.
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2. Charles Spurgeon (135)
3. J.C. Ryle (117)
4. Thomas Brooks (113)
5. John Calvin (107)
6. John Flavel (96)
7. J.I. Packer (95)
8. William Gurnall (93)
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10. John Piper (87)
11. John Owen (74)
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13. A.W. Pink (68)
14. Louis Berkhof (63)
15. C.S. Lewis (59)
16. B.B. Warfield (59)
17. Martyn Lloyd-Jones (58)
18. R.C. Sproul (55)
19. Richard Baxter (54)
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